Saturday, December 5, 2009

25 Days of Giveaways - It's Day 10...Welcome to Mommicked

Welcome to Day 10 of Tina's Awesome 25 Days of Giveaways.

I'm so excited that it's finally my turn that I'm posting a little bit early for the states. But, it's December 6th somewhere, right?

Here's a photo of my contribution.

Not sure if every monitor will pick up the detail. Both the hat and the mittens are a chocolate brown and have an owl cable motif. (They're also machine-washable because I'm a practical sort of gal).

I thought this pattern would be apropos for the giveaway because owls are all about wisdom and wisdom abounds in this community. I decided to make mittens because I had never made a pair before. Since R died just over 2 years ago, I've found that learning a new skill or taking on a manageable challenge has helped to rebuild my confidence.

So, in the spirit of growth and sharing wisdom, I'm wondering what you've learned about yourself since losing your baby. Have you grown in any surprising ways? Do you have any new projects planned for the coming year to aid your personal growth?

Leave your comments on wisdom and trying new things below. The random number generator (aka, C) will pull numbers from a hat when I'm good and sure that December 6 is over for every time zone.

A side note for all of the knitters out there. Both patterns are available for free on the internet. The hat is here. The mittens are here. And if you're all et up with owl cables and looking for a project so unbelievably adorable that it will make all of your friends' eyeballs explode...go here and scroll down until you see the picture titled 'owlet.'


  1. The hat and mittens are gorgeous and they look so warm!

    As far as learning about myself, I'd have to say that I never knew I could get angry at God for circumstances beyond my control. I started to scare myself at how I was dealing with everything and mostly afraid of completely losing myself. Jenna has shown me how to overcome that anger as I go along day by day by remembering how much love and perfection she brought into my life. I guess I found out just how vulnerable I am and how much God really loves me in spite of my frail mind.

  2. YAY, the day I have been waiting for--trying to win one of your gorgeous knit products! But if this week is any indication of my luck, the random generator will cause my computer to explode.

    About wisdom, the only thing I can say I learned on this journey is that sitting and listening to someone in their sadness and grief is more important than what you say about their loss. I also have become much braver with my writing and art and just going for it, no matter how silly I look. XO

  3. Ooooooo those look so cozy and I love the chocolate brown color. :)

    I've learned that there isn't anything I can't overcome with God by my side. My only 'project' is planning for my daughter's first birthday.

  4. What beautiful work !
    Losing my daughter has taught me many things such as how fragile life really is.It has taught me never to take anything for granted .It has taught me compassion.But mostly, it has taught me that decisions made, even under the worst of circumstances, are choices that one must live with, so must never be made lightly.

  5. Ooo they are lovely. I'm going to have to learn how to knit one of these days as
    I think the last year has certainly taught me not to count chickens, as they say. I don't take things for granted any more and so many things that seemed important before are now pretty meaningless. It's given me a whole new perspective on my life, which I'm slowly learning to live with. I'm now planning a pretty major career change, I'm hoping to go back to university to re train as a nurse.

  6. Gorgeous hat and mittens, I love owl cables, and that owlet sweater almost had me in tears, it's adorable, and I just hope I get to knit one for someone one day. (my bigger kids are probably a little too big for it.)
    I think in the short time since my baby girl died I've learned to become more tolerant, maybe even more compassionate, and I try harder not to judge anyone on a split second window into their lives.
    I still believe passionately in the things I did beforehand,but now I can see more clearly the shades between things I previously thought were so black and white.

  7. Hi Tracy. The hat and mittens are awesome! The would be perfect for a cold Pennsylvania winter day!

    Wisdom...for me, it's more about realism. This experience has completely changed the way I view and interpret every single thing and event around me - some for better, some for worse, some just different.

    It's been learning that many things might beat and batter my body and soul - and occasionally knock me down, but it's going to take a much bigger crapstorm than I ever imagined to keep me down and out forever. - It's been realizing that no matter how bad my worst days are, there is always someone out there having a worse run of things. - It's been understanding and knowing that any time I think I have figured it all out, something is going to come along and somehow turn everything I know upside down.

  8. I have learned that it is so important to lean on friends and family and let them lift you up when you when you are down. I don't know how we would have made it through the first year after losing our girls without them.

  9. So pretty, I really want to learn how to knit.

    I am not sure what I have learned yet, it's all still so new to me that I am just figuring things out. I guess if I had to say just one thing it's that I have a lot more compassion for people who are grieving now that I ever thought I did, and am more willing to listen and help others than I was before.

  10. It is very sweet of you to give away such a beautiful gift!

    I have to say that I feel that this will be a life-long journey of learning for me. It has only just begun. I have definately stepped aside as a 'people pleaser,' and am not afraid to speak my mind. It has never been more clear to me that I have to make decisions in the best interest of myself and my family, not just to appease others. Not to sound selfish, but this was something I had a very hard time with before - speaking up for myself.
    I'm definately working on appreciation of life.... and appreciation of my living children, too. Oh, there is so much....
    Since losing my daughter, I've started a project in her name. My mission is to make receiving blankets for the NICU like the one we were given that she was wrapped in when she died. I have been doing it on my own up until this point, but I've just received news that a few more people might want to help me with this cause. It has been healing to give back to the place that took such wonderful care of our daughter during her short life.

  11. Hi Tracy,
    It's nice to meet you. Your mittens and hat are beautiful. I too took to knitting after losing my daughter. However, I can only do scarves and baby hats- I'm a beginner. I lost my dad, like you, to cancer in March 2008 and my daughter, Ella in March 2009. I've become quite good at grieving. I am still in my angry stage, but so desire to find the positive behind all of this. I guess I'm more sympathetic now when I hear of someone elses loss. I am also more grateful for the blessings in my life. I'm so thankful that I got to hold my daughter, even for a short time. I have many mementos of her that surround me and bring me smiles several times a day. I am pregnant again. Because of what I learned from Ella, ive learned to never complain and am trying to relish each moment I have with this little one. Wishing you peaceful holidays!

  12. I have learned that I am not in control of everything all the time. I used to feel like I had to have my hand in everything or something would go wrong, and then I realized that even though I was in control with my pregnancy, something bad still happened. I learned to let go.

  13. Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby girl. I am glad to hear that the other one survived and I hope that brings you some comfort on some level.

    Since loosing my daughter in 2005, I have become very focused on spreading awareness, and I started a Walk to Remember in my community in 2007 with the help of a couple other moms. It has been a huge success and we are now planning for our 4th walk. I also make memory boxes to donate to the hospital, although, sadly, I haven't made any since my husband got sick in 2008 (cancer) and passed away, and my hope is to get back to making those boxes this year. I feel so guilty not having sent any to the hospital since September 2008. While I no longer celebrate the holiday, I live where it's usually very very cold in the winter time and brown is one of my favorite colors, so brown hat and mitts would suit me just fine. :) But most of all, I'm here because I want to reach out to other moms who have lost a baby and further prove that we are not alone in our grief and our link around the world is a long one.

    Anyway, forgive my rambling! Will take some time to look through your blog today.

  14. Beautiful!! I have learned I am in control of my actions, everything else is out of my control...I also know that my life will go on and some how I will make it...I have tried to turn things around and I did a fundraiser in memory of Kasey right before his 1st birthday. The money I raised went to buy some things for the NICU Kasey was in and a charity called CHERUBS that has been a saving grace for me.


  15. I love those mittens! Very impressive!

    I have learned that, with Christ, I can endure anything. I'm not saying that I can deal with anything with ease, just that I can live through anything. As far as plans, I am working with the March of Dimes to start a bereaved parent support group in my area.



  16. This seems a good 'assignment' for your giveaway--which is beautiful. Wish I could knit, but not sure when I'd find the time!
    it was very interesting to me to read everyone's responses and everyone seemed so willing to participate. Only in this community are we unjudged for our thoughts and our answers and for that I am appreciative.
    Susan's comment made me realize that yes, after being dealt this tragedy, it most definitely would take one helluva 'crapstorm' to put me under for good. I think I can handle anything if I can get through this. Even though getting through this is a lifelong journey.
    I have learned so much from losing Chase. I am still learning. I learned a lot about people. I am learning what faith really is, still learning that one, though. I feel things so much deeper than I did before...compassion, sadness, joy, anger, trust. These things have a whole new meaning to me. Even though I thought I totally had my priorities in check before all this happen, I guess I do even moreso now. The list goes on and I'm sure there's room for many, many more lessons, but I am thankful for a place to share this, read about other's journeys and feel comfort from them.
    Sorry for rambling....i hope your holidays bring cheer.

  17. Love it Tracy!!

    For me losing my girls has truly put things in perspective for me. Not that mine was bad before, but now certain things just don't matter and other things are way more important to me. I have also learned a few thing about I am not very good at it! I hope to improve this, but don't really know where to start. I have grown in many ways, but I would trade all of it just to have my girls back. xx

  18. I have not been good at participating in the 25 days but I'm happy to join in today!!! It's such a great idea and so nice that someone is appreciating us mommies.

    I have learned so many things about other people and about myself since Nate died. I've learned that some people aren't capable of being "there" for me while others aren't willing. I've learned that our society in general doesn't understand grief and all that it entails. I've learned bad things do happen to good people. I've learned that God is truly the only one that I can rely on 100%. I've learned that "stuff" isn't important. I've learned that I want to pick my friends rather than letting them pick me. I've learned that there are other mommies out there that are going down the same path. Most importantly, I've learned that I am stronger than I thought that I was.

    Hugs to you!!!


  19. Gorgeous hat and mittens! I'll leave a wise quote:

    Did is a word of achievement,
    Won't is a word of retreat;
    Might is a word of bereavement,
    Can't is a word of defeat;
    Ought is a word of duty,
    Try is a word each hour;
    Will is a word of beauty,
    Can is a word of power.

    Tight hugs for you and your family.

  20. Hi Tracy,

    What a beautiful set! I too have learned to knit since my daughter left us two and a half months ago. Though they are absolutely lovely I would rather give someone else a chance to win as I have already won something! But I did still want to participate in the question.....

    I have learned that giving is much much better than receiving. Healing comes from both within and without. Complete strangers are your closest friends. I have learned to never underestimate the power of God or the strength that he can give you. I have learned that I am a much better, more caring, compassionate and loving person for having loved and lost and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

    Projects? Knitting hats for the NICU and educating hospitals who are not trained in bereavement care. Providing memory boxes to families. My Delivering Hope project in honor of my daughter.

    What a wonderful question to ask. It really brings out the wonderful gifts our babies have given us.

    God bless,

  21. God has been teaching me about authenticity since my D-Day and my daughters death. That it is ok to be just where you are, and to be real with people about your feelings. That the biggest blessings come when we live openly in front of each other, and don't "christianize" our reponses so that people will be impressed with us. The greatest witness, and God's greatest glory comes when I open my heart and show others the journey HE has me on, and how HE is working me through it.
    Thank you for sponsering this!