Thursday, November 19, 2009

Curmudgeon 3 - Home Again

As I mentioned before, my mom is a pessimist. It's a genetic condition, her entire side of the family elevates negativity to a high art. All of the sarcasm and kvetching bugs me. For the most part I'm more of a doer than a talker (and more of a solver than a complainer)--at least that's how I used to be before I started my project.

The last 4 years have taught me that some things just can't be fixed. They can't be fixed by foresight, medical technology, or hard work. They certainly can't be fixed by a positive attitude. Sometimes I wonder if a positive attitude clouds the truth and makes it harder to see the solution. If that's the case, why shouldn't I go negative?

If I just roll around in all of my negative thoughts and let them soak in maybe I can get it all out of the way and feel more like myself again.

No one on my mom's side of the family would ever suggest that I should past this, or move on, or get over it. They'd cheerfully decapitate any outsider who suggested it. They hold strong opinions and epic grudges. They are Titans of 'No Thank You.' I'll grudgingly admit that I admire their fortitude.

Last weekend C and I went to my cousin's birthday party (yup, the one with the revelations about the Osmonds). Watching C run around the yard with her cousins I knew that every single one of my relatives was picturing R trotting along beside her. Most of them probably aimed a criticism at god or fate for taking her away from us.

It was a relief to let someone else carry the water for a few hours.

I guess I'm thanking my family for being un-thankful on my behalf.

So, with the 'Thank You' out of the way, here are three 'No Thank You's'

No Thank You -

A person who is turning the upcoming work Thanksgiving celebration into a spreadsheet-driven nightmare.

The person who thought that I'd want to hear a ten-minute speech about how hard it was for her to say good-bye to her daughter before a 5-week school trip.

The person tailgating me in the 25 mph zone on the way home yesterday. We're all in a hurry but it doesn't mean that we should speed in a residential zone.

Now I'm thinking of all of the things that made me thankful yesterday...I think my experiment isn't gonna take.


  1. Also admiring the fortitude of your mom's side of the family. Sometimes I think that if, I knew a couple more 'un-thankful' types, I wouldn't have to be so darn un-thankful myself. Still, I guess someone has to carry that water and it might as well be me. Or maybe they don't?

    Totally agree with the tailgating and the ridiculous speech. Oooof. But a spreadsheet-driven nightmare. Spreadsheets. Yum. Send 'em to me.

    Oh and Outlander cunningly disguised as its British alter ego Cross Stitch arrived in the post today. Rubbing hands with glee. xo

  2. Hi Tracy! I have info to send you regarding the Christmas Giveaways but I don't have your e-mail address. Send it to me at and I'll get the info out to you. Thank you so much for agreeing to participate. I think it is a great way to honor our babies while spreading some joy!!