Somewhere in my mind I've decided that I have until C's 2nd birthday to finish constructing my new world. If I'm being generous with myself I'll add in the 12 extra days and make it the 2nd anniversary of R's death. The point is, however, that grief will likely be my constant companion for the rest of my life and I should figure out how to wear it comfortably.
I'm starting to think that the only way to cope with the memories I carry and revisit daily is to deposit them somewhere outside of myself. Chances are this blog will basically be an echo-chamber for my private musings but there's always the chance that someone will stop by--maybe someone who's just lost a parent or a child and needs to know that they aren't alone.
Grieving, remembering, moving on...it all takes a tremendous amount of energy. The question is do you just let the heat build up inside until it's unbearable or do you direct the force outward and put it to work?