tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post8609969818748509911..comments2023-10-01T02:15:58.234-07:00Comments on mommicked: What to Expect...TracyOChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-12060247207980526052012-05-21T11:41:41.609-07:002012-05-21T11:41:41.609-07:00I agree that it's essential for C (and all sib...I agree that it's essential for C (and all siblings of deceased children) to remember and to be granted space to remember. Maybe some aspects of remembering are cute sometimes...I don't know.<br />So, I guess she got it half right. And I give her a lot of credit for even sending a reply at all.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-41860472494228741692012-05-21T09:22:00.793-07:002012-05-21T09:22:00.793-07:00You know, I think the note is okay.
The cute, how...You know, I think the note is okay. <br />The cute, however, is not. It's not 'cute' that C 'remembered'. It's essential.Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11910371746336686970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-29485500289211980832012-03-26T07:19:17.523-07:002012-03-26T07:19:17.523-07:00Really?....That's about right. I'm just g...Really?....That's about right. I'm just glad that this played out via email rather than some horribly awkward face-to-face conversation. I have no idea how I would have reacted without the space-time lag of email.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-12088892480444734852012-03-26T07:17:20.747-07:002012-03-26T07:17:20.747-07:00Sorry to hear that your daughter's teacher is ...Sorry to hear that your daughter's teacher is close-minded. Ideally there'd be some sort of happy medium between "delighted by death" and "burying head in the sand." I guess it just takes all kinds though. I suppose this type of thing will just be part of growing up for our living children.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-8104893255498221502012-03-26T07:14:54.142-07:002012-03-26T07:14:54.142-07:00Honestly, I laughed too. If I take a step back fr...Honestly, I laughed too. If I take a step back from the whole thing, I can see that there are actually a lot of funny things that people do when confronted with dead babies. It's like a short circuit or something. But, in an email? Isn't that what the delete key is for?TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-1303813877056046722012-03-26T07:12:35.718-07:002012-03-26T07:12:35.718-07:00Ooooo...WTF. Maybe I'll just rename this blog...Ooooo...WTF. Maybe I'll just rename this blog with the emoticon and see where it takes me. I have a feeling that there's plenty more of this in store.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-65482825142668064802012-03-20T19:30:59.296-07:002012-03-20T19:30:59.296-07:00I think my own response to this might be a little ...I think my own response to this might be a little inappropriate too but here goes...I laughed. Full on chuckles and snorts because talking about dead siblings is always so LIGHTHEARTED and deserving of lots of exclamation points and capital letters!!! If she had just given condolences (personally I've noticed many people seem to be incapable of this) it could have been a sweet email. I'briannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03703767053224975771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-85882509567983074692012-03-19T06:37:21.163-07:002012-03-19T06:37:21.163-07:00Wow, what a strange response. Not quite sure how ...Wow, what a strange response. Not quite sure how to categorize it, but there is something missing there, like an 'I'm so sorry your baby died' and also possibly a little less enthusiasm about the whole situation, know what I mean? Weird...<br /><br />Although it is refreshing that she seems so comfortable with C bringing that topic up in class. My daughter's pre-k teacher is Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16614232173945249682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-17375833049431685492012-03-13T14:51:22.935-07:002012-03-13T14:51:22.935-07:00You are not short on social niceties at all. It wa...You are not short on social niceties at all. It was just a passing thought along the lines of, here I am, rambling on to Jessica about C and R and I haven't even checked with their mom!?! Slightly crazy no? But yes, you're right, that is kind of the whole point of this blogging lark. Just a momentary panic. <br /><br />As you know, I'm impossibly glad to have found you and your girls.Catherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-56787819014676060822012-03-13T11:23:44.497-07:002012-03-13T11:23:44.497-07:00I keep coming back to this and my mind still boggl...I keep coming back to this and my mind still boggles. On the one hand, it's good, I guess, that this teacher is so open. As you say, it's refreshing. On the other hand, the chirpiness is so blatantly inappropriate that all I can think is "Really? Really?"<br /><br />I'm glad C's show and tell went well. I'm glad this person is her pre-K teacher and not her junior ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347057746449071812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-78778294083316660282012-03-13T09:44:16.199-07:002012-03-13T09:44:16.199-07:00You know, I think my expectations are fairly low t...You know, I think my expectations are fairly low to begin with, but I nodded to this: <br /><br />"Sometimes it feels like the whole human race is falling through slats of expectations I should ditch but can't."<br /><br />Word.<br /><br />Tracy, that email is insane. Agreed with Angie. The words cute, LOVE or neat don't belong here. But this did make me snort: "I LOVE how mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07830332489753742950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-23084485002839394002012-03-12T17:26:20.942-07:002012-03-12T17:26:20.942-07:00There's a tiny part of me that feels pretty fr...There's a tiny part of me that feels pretty frosted but the larger part is still willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She didn't swerve into my lane all of the way. If this email had arrived unsolicited or if she had refused to allow the photo--then I'd be pissed. Like paint my face blue and storm her house with a screaming horde pissed.<br /><br />Along the same lines as TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-64043048895065469532012-03-12T17:19:39.662-07:002012-03-12T17:19:39.662-07:00I have to respect this woman for just being 100% h...I have to respect this woman for just being 100% herself in this situation. She always comes off as someone whose emotions are only like an inch deep. I don't know if it's because of deep suffering or no suffering.<br /><br />I tell C about Jessica and Georgina all of the time (and all of the other blogland kids with dead siblings). I figured that was the whole point of this blogging TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-49711069573328520432012-03-12T17:15:19.347-07:002012-03-12T17:15:19.347-07:00Yes. It's just a little short...or maybe wide...Yes. It's just a little short...or maybe wide...of the mark. Luckily the school year's just about over.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-36070086481016503792012-03-12T17:14:32.883-07:002012-03-12T17:14:32.883-07:00I taught middle school for a few years and this em...I taught middle school for a few years and this email exchange makes me wonder how many times I shuffled off an important, emotional moment for a parent under a wave of can-do perkiness. Cringe-fest.<br /><br />At the same time, like you, I don't think I was ever quite so clueless as to completely forget the 'I'm sorry.'TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-30625234560971572562012-03-12T16:30:07.597-07:002012-03-12T16:30:07.597-07:00Mary Beth, I refuse to buy - perky past, even if -...Mary Beth, I refuse to buy - perky past, even if - that you would have acted this way. Ever.<br /><br />Whatever ability I might once have possessed to move, sighing, past an email like this one<br /><br />Is<br /><br />Gone.<br /><br />And ten years out, any illusions about such emails being rare ~<br /><br />well, they're not.<br /><br />Sometimes I wonder if my attitude is permanently Groveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14867095709948739457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-18528693779118627742012-03-12T16:19:47.125-07:002012-03-12T16:19:47.125-07:00Ummmm, I really think you need to publish that boo...Ummmm, I really think you need to publish that book. I need this kind of warning flare. Seriously. <br /><br />I've already broached the dead twin subject at nursery and preschool. Mainly because Jessica sometimes mumbles away about 'Baby Georgie' and I didn't want them thinking that Jessica either (a) wasn't saying Reuben's name correctly or (b) thought that Georgina was Catherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-21703568532976787262012-03-12T15:14:46.636-07:002012-03-12T15:14:46.636-07:00It's the exclamation points!! And CAPITAL LETT...It's the exclamation points!! And CAPITAL LETTERS! And "cute" that she "remembered". This all left a weird taste in my mouth, so I can only imagine how it made you feel.<br />Ugh, is all I can say really. Though that said, I think she tried to be compassionate, has just come up a bit short.....Hope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-88525255905399288652012-03-12T12:39:33.765-07:002012-03-12T12:39:33.765-07:00OMG such cringing. I admit to being recently cured...OMG such cringing. I admit to being recently cured of the perkies, being a former K teacher and all. But I would like to think my reply to your email would contain far fewer exclamation points and at least two I'm sorrys.<br /><br />But heck. At least she didn't freak out and tell C she couldn't bring in the picture.<br /><br />It's still such a weird response. Your email was Mary Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12212750107782259674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-3755092365114157022012-03-12T12:21:56.356-07:002012-03-12T12:21:56.356-07:00And, show and tell went smoothly as far as I know....And, show and tell went smoothly as far as I know. Thanks to the power of the internets, C knows that she isn't the only kid with a dead sister (in fact, she isn't even the only one in her pre-k class). Plus, our attempt to dissuade was more of a brainstorming session that she interrupted to tell us that she already knew she was bringing a picture of R. As far as R knows, we don't TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-14036595926724510472012-03-12T12:17:02.670-07:002012-03-12T12:17:02.670-07:00Yeah...I keep looking at my email, wondering where...Yeah...I keep looking at my email, wondering where I went wrong with it. I'm a little cringe-y about the part about how R is alive in all the pictures...as if a picture of a baby who has already died is such a terrible thing. My note is strange. Her note is strange. Sigh.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-50560983256070324812012-03-12T12:14:46.095-07:002012-03-12T12:14:46.095-07:00What the fuck? That's almost exactly what I t...What the fuck? That's almost exactly what I thought when I first read it. It's like an email from a different species. Then again, I suppose my message isn't exactly perfect either.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-7285624394497698962012-03-12T12:13:24.626-07:002012-03-12T12:13:24.626-07:00I think it was really the lack of condolences that...I think it was really the lack of condolences that took me by surprise. Even the most clueless people I know are generally capable of producing and "I'm sorry" but, C's teacher is truly an odd duck.TracyOChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16227348728165440844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-85553557695204506492012-03-12T09:21:35.791-07:002012-03-12T09:21:35.791-07:00urmmm, ok, I'm really not sure what to think a...urmmm, ok, I'm really not sure what to think about that either, what a strange note for her to send. :0/Jeanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00660426424732518994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851980518254014125.post-90797279219540805572012-03-11T18:37:28.236-07:002012-03-11T18:37:28.236-07:00Jesus man. I feel you on the confusion. Should you...Jesus man. I feel you on the confusion. Should you be pissed, like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? or should you laugh at this teacher's innocence and forget all about it? <br /><br />Either way, it was worth sharing, if nothing else but to say that it happened and that it was so damn confusing. <br /><br />JoshJosh Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07558455153152363458noreply@blogger.com